Double Beet Salad with Goat Cheese & a dildo

If the day starts with the following questions all happening at the same time as everyone converges in your kitchen and it is before 7am:

Contractor: You know your roof has four leaks in it, right?

9-year-old: Mom?

6-year-old: What do I do if my vagina is itchy?

9 –year-old: Mom? Mom?

4-year-old: How come you never let me stir the boiling water for the pasta?

9-year-old:  Mom? Mom?  Mom? You want to hear me play American Idiot on the electric guitar?

11-year-old: What’s a dildo?

Then this is what you can answer:

How much will it cost to fix the roof and can you just patch it? Go use a clean, cold washcloth, wipe yourself and don’t wear leggings today – vaginas need to breathe.  I don’t let you stir boiling water because I don’t want you to get burned, but you can stir the shredded beets, okay?  Yes, I do want to hear you play Green Day but you have to stop asking me fifteen times in a row.

Then a) ask where the 11-year-old hear that word and b) explain that it’s a fake penis and talk about why Eminem chooses certain themes in his music c) praise the 11-year-old for asking and d) treat yourself to some really really good goat cheese and make some colorful beet salad to enjoy later, when everyone is asleep, the contractor has gone home, the roof is – temporarily – fixed, and there are no question marks except your own.  May I have seconds?

Yes.

2 responses to “Double Beet Salad with Goat Cheese & a dildo”

  1. such a great website!! love this post .. very funny and yummy beat salad! totally going to bookmark your blog and read often!

  2. such a great website!! love this post .. very funny and yummy beat salad! totally going to bookmark your blog and read often!