4-yr-old: Do you have any gum?

Me: No.  Ask Daddy.

[4-yo goes upstairs, comes back down]:  Daddy’s in the shower. he says i can have gum when he gets out.

Me: Okay.

[4-yr-old considers something]: Can I sleep with gum?

Me: that wouldn’t be a good idea.  It could get stuck in your hair or make you choke.

4-yr-old: But can I get IN my bed with gum?

Me: I suppose.  Why?

4-year-old: Because what I want to do is get some gum and then go in my bed and chew gum and play with my penis.

Me: Sounds like you have a plan.

[4-year-old leaves, I proceed with my plan, which is to make a tart]