Parenting makes you grow. It makes you love more than you thought possible. It also makes you say sentences that you never thought you’d say.
“Because toothbrushes aren’t for vaginas, that’s why.”
“Because I’m positive Axl Rose’s name didn’t used to be Steering Wheel Dandelion.”
“Because we don’t eat chili from our hands.”
And so on. As I sauteed onions, 9-year-old Daniel continued his Harry Potter game. There are no rules. There is no end point. The object is to repeat the spells and use a pencil or ladle as the wand. I listen and then tune it out. My husband has a harder time with this. He gets annoyed. Daniel tapped the air near his dad’s head and said, “Leviosa terrarium von schmistedlhorn” or whatever for the quadrillionth time and Adam yelled, “Stop casting spells on me, I mean it!”
Then we had soup (not from a cauldron).
*a) no, it is not gross and b) yes, you can find it at a regular grocery store and c) if you can’t be bothered, use some Worcestershire sauce and/or anchovy paste or some molasses and salt