Why oh why would one have congealed meat products with ice cold bread with plastic cheese and frozen salad when this is on offer?

My airport meal consists of:

Chewy ficelle bread, one half spread with goat cheese, layered with radishes, cucumbers, and salt.  The other half has simple, sweet butter, radishes, and Maldon’s.  Hell might be cracking open with 5 kids waiting for hours to check in, to board the plane where we have NO SEAT together, upon which they must go to sleep in order to get rested enough for the second flight tomorrow…but I will be enjoying my sandwich while using my octopus arms to hold hands and bags.

And, if this makes you want to kick me in the shins because it is healthy or too fruffy, then you might be glad to know that in addition to my Pink Lady apple, banana, and vegetarian sandwich, I have a shitload of Twizzlers in my bag, too.  I’m all about kale and chard, but I loves me some Twizzlers.

Arrivederci!